Online portals are useful for making contacts quickly. What you can do to make more of it – and what you should not do.
Online contacts can often be made faster than in everyday life. But the great love is rarely behind it.
Contacts can be made quickly online – but in order to make more of them, a few things have to be considered. An overview shows what works and what doesn’t:
Shit comes on the table – at the latest on the first date. When it comes to a meeting, all the information previously given must reasonably withstand reality. Of course, it is allowed to put the advantages in the right light and to withhold ticks for the time being. «But please stay as authentic as possible. After all, the other person shouldn’t fall in love with an avatar, ”advises relationship coach Dominik Borde.
In his experience, women often make themselves younger and slimmer, men cheat at their jobs and possessions. If the age is corrected down by ten years, this is noticeable at the latest when you get to know each other personally.
Unrealistic expectations only lead to disappointment and a high potential for frustration. Anyone who eagerly sees every online flirt as a lifeline from being single must expect that they will land many mistakes, says Borde. Online dating platforms run like a party: “If you just stand still in the corner and watch, you will have little chance of flirting,” says Borde. Those who give too much, on the other hand, are perceived as exhausting. It’s all in the mix.
“If the spark is there after the phone call, then it’s the right time to meet,” says Borde. He advises not to start dating the first online flirt, but also not to write to someone for months without getting to know them personally. According to sexologist Martin Dannecker, virtual contacts that last too long and are therefore often associated with too strong emotions and desires tend to be flops in real encounters. “So many fantasies have built up that the real person is often a disappointment.”
Kai Dröge, social researcher at the University of Frankfurt, has found that online dating degenerates quickly. “It tempts you to expand your search endlessly because there are inexhaustible contact options,” he says. However, if you have too many dates, you will lose the tickling and tingling sensation. “You become numb and the likelihood of falling in love becomes less and less,” he warns. It takes time and leisure to really engage with a single person.
Rejecting someone is rarely easy. But honesty is ultimately best for both parties.